Well for every new bend in the road there is a new path to follow. Mine is no different. With this new path are many new changes, new faces, and new challenges. Some can be found here at https://www.facebook.com/cx5zoom
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,800 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.
You can only clean a house from top to bottom so many days in a row until even the dust starts waving a white flag claiming defeat. Day in and day out I get up clean, take the dog out, see the lawyer or the bank, ignore the phone and clean some more. Next day, same routine. So in an effort to switch things up I have taken a step, pushed myself to join a local social activities club and I have signed up for two events already…hiking which includes a geocash sport that I’ve never tried before and outdoor bow archery inspired by the Hunger Games. They have different things at different times and you can join in on as many or as few as you wish. There are single, divorced, widowed, older, younger, the same age and couples. But I think the whole thing to remember here is that this is a group of people who are doing things that I’m interested in. I’ve ordered my snowshoes for the winter hikes, my daughter wants to try skiing when she comes home to visit and I said sure. Bunny hills here I come!
I have learned more about my husband in the last month since he passed away than I knew about him the nineteen years we were together. He had many secrets, a tortured soul, a low self-esteem that fed a wounded spirit. I never really knew or saw the person he truly was. He struggled daily with simple decisions, he needed someone to make a choice for him, even when driving if it meant going left or right. For me there were times it was frustrating during our life together, he was the man and I wanted him to take the lead. I didn’t want to be the dominant one in the relationship, I wanted a man to look after me, someone strong, someone I can look up to, someone I can go to for advice. Now when I look back I understand more his behavior, his secrets were causing most of his issues. I learned even the schools he said he went to weren’t true, stigma associated with vocational schools. When that came to light I was shocked. There is more but what is important here is the life lost, his, he lost a life he never knew. Things could have been so different he didn’t need to hide who he was from me, I fell in love with the man I met on the outside, that means the whole package goes along, past included. Your education means nothing, skills you have that are learned over time , on the job skills, from a forty-year career far out way any thing you would learn in high school. During our nineteen years together we had a separation, we worked it out, we fought, we went to counseling, we loved, we hated, we yelled, we were silent, we were together till death do us part. I think he really did love me, and only kept secrets for good reasons. One of his sisters said he thought he was never good enough for me. I wish he had talked to me about some of this. But, all of this is water under the bridge. He is gone and I am left to pick up the pieces. I am not bitter, I loved him, I miss him, I cry often. If someone comes along that catches my eye so be it. I’m not going to say I won’t get involved with anyone because I don’t know if I will or not, it all depends if the right one comes along like Jim did. I was comfortable with him, he accepted me for who I was, faults and all how ironic. He knew my past, my secrets, he knew me and how I ticked. I don’t think I will ever find another Jim, that’s what hurts the most.